Blogger to Wordpress

I have moved this Blog to my own domain using Wordpress replacing Blogger.

Please visit me at www.mikeargiros.com

Young Men, Car Engines and Tolerance

I was recently working with some young men in their dormitory mediating a dispute that was personality based and full of elevated egos. To reach them I found the use of an analogy helpful.

After listening to their complaints about each other, I redirected the conversation by asking them questions about car engines.

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Each one began sharing their knowledge of how cars worked and when they got to the discussions about engine oil and coolant, I shifted gears, if you will, and began to connect their understanding of the value and purpose of engine oil in the car engine with value and importance of having and developing the skill or virtue of tolerance.

Tolerance is that single element or skill essential to finding peace when living in close quarter with other people. This analogy seemed effective in getting them to see a way beyond having to ‘Win” the power struggle and to focus on an outcome that was sustainable.

Engine oil (Tolerance) is an essential element for neutralizing and minimizing the heat build-up from personality friction when working together in any kind of a group or community. And with young men and women in particular, if it can be seen as a tool, rather than “giving in”, they are more likely to adopt it. In any case, it worked for now with these young men so I thought I would share. –
Tolerance => Charity => Love

Philosophy - Mayonnaise Jar - Golf balls – Sand and ...

TWO GLASSES OF RED WINE

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses of red wine.........

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, without speaking he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full of golf balls? They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two glasses of red wine from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
Now, said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things; your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.'

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else; the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.'

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. Do one more run down the ski slope. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of glasses of red wine with a friend.'

Share this with a friends.

(CREDITS: I received this today as an e-mail from my daughter, then found it again on these two blogs while looking for a pictuer: - Kevin Wheeler from the UK and Yolonda from Ireland )

Victory for Hancock NY on the fight to stop NYRI

NYRI has waived the white Flag. Victory for Hancock NY on the fight to stop NYRI

In my capacity at The Family Foundation School, through my involvement with The Hancock Partners, and finally because the 190 mile power line could have cost me my actual home, I am delighted.

Thank you to Senator John Bonacic, CARI, Stop NYRI and all of the political and community based grass roots organizations for persistently working in opposition to the NYRI project. Scores of NYRI opponents who fought the project to protect the Delaware River in Delaware & Sullivan Counties through the Village of Otisville and on to the Town of Windsor in Orange County are cheering. Through their efforts and the active role of our political representatives such as State Senator John Bonacic, who sponsored legislation prohibiting the use of eminent domain, we have a Victory! Well Done! There are links with some details of this on my Hancock New York blog

FICO - Credits score

The question came up today with an employee & friend about Credits scores and ways to increase one's score. We talked for a bit where I shared some ideas that I had. A little while later he came back to me with this website confirming what I had told him. So I pass this on to whoever is interested.

http://www.myfico.com/CreditEducation/ImproveYourSCore.aspx

Social Media -- Sharing Experience Strength and Hope.

I have been distracted from blogging and now in a conversation today with associates in a local Non-Profit – The Hancock Partners (http://www.hancocknewyork.com/) I found myself promoting the virtues of Social Media as a communications and out reach tool. As a result, my friend Richard Reeve (http://www.ccseed.com/) and I will be doing an informal presentation about “Social Media” to members of the Partners next week. Also, this prompted me to start a second Blog (http://hancockny.blogspot.com/) focusing on my appreciation and commitment to life in the small town of Hancock.

Family

Today I was called to work to attend the needs of the Students at the school as well as to support the staff. During my day I worked with two students who are facing a major change in their lives. In my efforts to help them bridge the gap between their desires for immediate gratification in life and their ability to understand where true gratification comes from, I realized that I was experiencing the joy or peace that comes from "being in the moment" rather then focusing on where you are not -- where you might wish to be. SO I feel a sense of satisfaction. I also spoke or had e-mail communications with several parents and staff - all of whom expressed their support and their prayers for a good outcome for the students and their families in crisis, the staff and the school relating to its growing pains and the parents of the students actually in crisis. I was brought back to something I hadn't felt in a long time - We are not alone! the 12-step fellowships are like a Family - a community that sticks together and helps its members in thick and thin. I am grateful to be part of this recovery network.

Love

This past two weeks or so have been filled with people. Students, Colleagues, family members, special events, joyful and scary moments, excitement, stress and difficulty. In many aspect of my life change occurring. I feel like I am in a boat of some kind on rapidly flowing river. Sometimes the water is shallow and the rocks are all around and hard to avoid, other times the water is deeper, wider and more manageable. Yet the water is moving fast and full of uncertainty.


Scary? Exciting? Depends on the attitude. What I am grateful for in all this is that I am not alone. There are others in my life who welcome me and I welcome them. We share with each other our individual journeys lending experience, strength and hope. There are no magic answers to life's challenges but there is strength in numbers.

Today I plan for a rest from the rapids of my life by taking the day off, spending time with my wife looking at Chicken Coops and farm stuff and sharing in her focus on life - "Backyard Living" - http://crayargiros.blogspot.com/ ). But lets see how the winds blow?

Happy Valentine's day!

I am not alone

I recently had a conversation with an old friend who called me after the sudden and unexpected passing of his father. I of course expressed my condolences and, having known his father personally, we exchanged stories about our past together with his dad. (Picture: "I miss my Friends" by Ittiqa Abbas on Flickr")

However, in a conversation I noted the enthusiasm that my friend expressed about how good he felt after a weekend of re-connecting with friends and family. In his exuberance he mentioned how his day-to-day life lacked in terms of socialization and fellowship. He expressed that he had forgotten how good it is to be involved in "living and breathing" relationships.

In our conversation we talked about how at one point in our lives we were both very involved in doing 12 step work as part of our involvement in 12 step self-help programs. My friend for reasons of employment etc., needed to commit more time to earn a living for his family and unintentionally allowed his social network to diminish. For me, I have been blessed that my employment to large degree keeps me front and center with other people and abundant opportunity for me to share my "experience, strength, and hope" - which is an expression found in the 12 step self-help programs. However, even having an opportunity - day in and day out - to share with others about the journey of life, there is still the potential and tendency to become complacent and stale in those relationships. One day at a time need to put effort into keeping the focus on the importance of fellowship. I encouraged my friends to bump up the priority level of getting out and about with others. My hope for him and really for myself is that we take each day and enjoy the fullness of life both in our internal life and in the external community of people with us along the road.

Perseverance

In the past two weeks I have had several thoughts that I wished to post about but never got past jotting them down as notes. So maybe with some time this afternoon I can get one or two of them out. I will start now with the issue of blogging in the first place.

There are many reasons that I have seen and heard about why people blog. I have always felt an inclination that I would like to have a connection with the world beyond my immediate family. I am not social phobic. Sometimes I'm emotionally lazy but definitely, I am energized when having conversations with other people. So on a scale of introvert versus extrovert I'm definitely more toward the extrovert. However, I think that blogging helps to equalize people from both ends of that spectrum. It allows introverted people less of a hurdle to overcome in engaging with others and possibly is a bit more of a hurdle or at least less interactive for the extrovert who (if you're like me) enjoys the face time. Nevertheless, I like to have my thoughts and thinking stimulated -- I like to learn and to hear what others have to say about subjects.

Life is busy, and it takes effort to balance personal interests and needs with personal responsibilities. There are always things that I feel I ought to be doing or could be doing in the realm of my responsibilities -- however I believe as a fundamental rule - that if I do not take care of myself in a way that might rejuvenate me I will not be able to meet those responsibilities effectively. So I am still experimenting. I need to see if blogging will work for me as an effective way of social networking -- will blogging satisfy my need to have a sense of community and fellowship?
More to come.

Good Times - some not so good times

Not sure how to grade today. For the most part, everything was great. So I give it an A minus.

Once I accepted the fact that I had to go out and shovel snow, I had a good time doing it and felt well exercised. Then, Chris, Carmen and I decided to make dinner over at Dorothy's house and spend the evening with her. When we got over there, I did more shoveling while Chris and Carmen actually made dinner. It was delicious!

Then, Carmen and Chris sang songs and played the piano while Dorothy and I visited. So far, so good. On the way home, however, because it was still snowing and the roads were slippery (and since I was driving a little faster than I should), the Suburban started sliding down our hill. So, I put it in the ditch to avoid the bank on the other side. Now it is up to its fenders in snow. (No Pix of that) S we walked home and now are settling in - watching an episode of Star Trek before I fall asleep. So, as I started the day, I am ending the day with gratitude and acceptance. Or, as my mother said, "Roll with the punches.

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Roll with the Punches!

My mother once told me that the third step of Alcoholics Anonymous could be simplified to mean "Roll with the Punches". This morning we woke up to an unexpected blizzard -- forecast was for a few inches spread out throughout the day. However, the snow started in the middle of the night and continued through early morning. We received already well over a foot. As a result my plans for the day were seriously interrupted. But not to worry -- I just need to "roll with the punches". For the sake of continuity in blogs and postings -- this is similar to the message I found in "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle? Acceptance of what IS NOW is the beginning of finding peace NOW.

In any case -- I'm going to try and include a few pictures of my day so far. I will up-load them to Flikr as well - if anyone knows if there is a way to link a pst to a Flikr Pic - let me know. My Flikr member name is also "Mikea44646"

Passing it on

I can not avoid it - Star Trek was bound to come into it. In my last post I got to talking about Life in terms of living. - Well - today I ran across this -- a guest post by Joshua Clanton on Daily Blog Tips - So I thought I would pass it on

Star Trek Blogging: The Klingon Way

... Mere life is not a victory, mere death is not a defeat.

To a Klingon, it isn’t enough to merely live. One must also live well. This
means fighting great battles, going on great hunts, serving the Empire well,
and finally dying a glorious death knowing that you have passionately
pursued the things you want most.

Then too, it isn’t enough to merely blog. One must also blog well. This
means writing great articles, posting great comments, supporting your
blogger friends, and when the time is right, retiring your blog honorably
knowing that you pursued blogging passionately.

Qapla’! ( Success!)

http://www.dailyblogtips.com/star-trek-blogging-the-klingdon-way/

Taking Action

Sometimes, in moments of frustration and stress, I have made the comment - "I hate my life". It is really a poor choice of words and when I say it, particularly in earshot of my wife, I usually get a pretty strong wake-up call.
I certainly don't mean that I want to end all and cease to exist. So what do I mean when I make such a comment? By life, I mean the journey, not the biology of life. What I am really trying to say is that I'm experiencing a serious level of unmanageability and uncomfortability along the road.

Fortunately, when I get like this, I am blessed with a strong fellowship of friends and family who remind me that there is a better way. For me, that better way can be found by refocusing my life so that it follows the road defined by the specific principles that I believe in and that breed serenity and peace rather than anxiety and frustration. The topic of why I subscribe to the specific life principles that I do is for another time. But for this post there are certain Ideals that I believe to be "Right and True" and serve me like a compass or like the North Star for Ancient Sailors. One of those Ideals is action and as I stated in another post, sometimes the answer is to "Move the Body and the Mind will Follow" (a slogan found in the 12 step, self help programs).Recently, in a similar scenario to the unmanageability above, I "woke up". I reached a bottom and decided to take action to Live. But How? Where to start?

Well in part that is what I think Blogging is about - for us to share with each others and to grow. To gain clarity along the way. So please comment. At present this Blog is part of the action I am taking to live. In addition to sharing with others, it is also an exercise in mind. We live in three ways, Mind, Body, and Soul so Blogging for me is an action to expand my mind.

Progress Not Perfection

Well I sat down a little while ago (over an hour actually) see if there were any comments to my blog postings -- and there were! Very exciting! I then attached a few of my friends blogs to my Google reader but have difficulty getting one of them. One of them which did work is the blog site for associates of mine -- www.steppingstonepartners.net

I am not sure what I can contribute to that site but I am excited by its premise -- a group conscience forum of sharing our "Experience, Strength, and Hope" -

Blogging - "KISS"

I started writing a post on another's blog and started getting "Long Winded" - that is not uncommon for me - however, I type slow so it surprised me that my "Talkativeness" would so quickly find its ways to and through my Fingers. On more area for Growth I guess.

In any case - I was commenting on the book by Eckhart Tolle - “The Power of Now”) in http://crayargiros.blogspot.com 's book selection and stopped mid thought - here is the comment and the remaining thought:

I enjoyed and personally got a lot out of "The Power of Now" - I recommend it to anyone looking for the tools to maintain or increase Peace and Serenity in their life – especially in such turbulent times. It drew me back to an expression often heard in 12 Step Self Help circles – “Move the body and the mind will follow”. This is leading to Blog Post so back to my Blog I go – Have a great Day. While the saying may have originally been applied to recovering alcoholics in the early stages of drying out and recovery, it very much applies to all forms of anxiety and emotional problems. Eckhart Tolle (Author of “The Power of Now”) expresses the idea that sometimes we can not fix the problem. That by focusing on it we become part of it. I am not justice here – but the idea again goes – for me – to a 12 step idea of “Do the next Right thing and turn the results over to God”

Day one - End of the Day

Well for Day one - I have been busy. I have a Flickr account with one picture. I have posted comments on two Blogs and have decided to "Follow" them. One I was able to get to Google Reader, the other just to my own "Following" section of this Blog.

However, First Things First - I need to stop now so I can get up in the morning and go to work. Until next Time - LL&P (Live Long and Prosper)

Day one - One Day at a Time

This is my first Blog and my first post. I am looking for an outlet to share with others mutual experiences on the road of life. I am a father of six children, married (for the second time) co-owner of a family business and I am finding myself looking for more. I have been reading books on everything from Sci-Fi to 12 step self-help & spiritual texts. I am part way through a biography on Benjamin Franklin and also working through a novel by Tim Madigan and his friendship with Mr. Rogers of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. I have also recently read a Star Trek novel based on STNG - Q-Squared.

In any case there is enough to start the process - "Progress not perfection"